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| The Pirate Queen's Log 8 most recent entries |
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Whether you're male or female, most of the time nobody wants to talk about or hear about things that have to do with a woman's Area, especially when it has to do with The Cycle. Unless it's Happy Naked Funtime and you're directly involved, most folk don't want to hear about or even think about other people's hoo-hahs. But you know what? This is just too awesome to not write about: Tampax is brilliant. Seriously? I haven't been this happy about a product redesign in oh, pretty much forever. I've always preferred their product 'cos of its biodegradability, but the cardboard applicator, while pretty environmentally-friendly, had a tendency to piss me off. If I had wet hands, like, fresh out of the shower or something, sometimes it'd be hard to get a good grip on that stupid, slippery thing - a major pain in the ass. Well, one of the main features of the new design is a "no slip grip" that not only keeps the applicator together better, but also makes for far less slip-fingered fumbling. It's about damn time! 7 comments | post a comment
So instead, I'll post a silly quiz result:
Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz post a comment
The Boy lost another tooth yesterday. He still firmly believes in the Tooth Fairy, and as he lay down to sleep last night, he called Spanky into the bedroom for a little concerned dialogue.
When I was very small, one of my favourite books was Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling. The tales are all narrated to the storyteller's best beloved, as in, "Now in these days, O Best Beloved..." As I read the stories one by one, over and over, I always felt warm and comforted and embraced.
How tired are you really? Measure your fatigue level. post a comment
I've not said a word these past few days, because I honestly haven't had a thing to write about. Nothing noteworthy at work or at home, just been playing a fair bit of Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time and Cooking Mama on the pink DS Lite that my Master got me as an early birthday present. *feels so girly*
I'm a crafty kind of girl. When I get an idea for a new project, even if it's something I've never done before, the way to make/do it tends to pop into my head all at once, fully formed. Ultimately, I may have to make alterations to the final plan, but I'm rarely stumped as to what I need to do. Last night, my crafting skills were put to the test. See, here's the thing. Zombie is one of the most uptight people we've ever met. Jokes directed towards him tend to rile him incredibly, and it's hilarious. He spends most of his life in a state of near-permanent horror, irritation, and discomfort at the happenings in the world and people around him, and he's made even -more- uncomfortable by the presence of anything phallic. It's one of the biggest cases of insecurity-within-one's-own-sexuality that I've ever seen. If it weren't so damn funny, though, we wouldn't prod him so much. After eating lunch and playing some pool, we ran off to the adult video store. We strode in there, determination in our eyes, and I began my search for the perfect pair of plastic tallywhackers. We examined a bunch of them, and there weren't any that I thought were totally ideal, but a couple that were close. In the hopes that the proprietor of the store had a better choice for us, I approached him. "I'm looking for a dildo - well, two dildos - thick, girthy, not too bendy, with some good length. It's got to have some weight, one that'll make a good heavy smacking sound if you whack someone with it." The man came out from behind the counter and approached one of the dong-covered walls. He strode self-assuredly to a set of Doc Johnson's Classic Dongs in various lengths, and indicated that I should give the 8" a try. It was the same one I had gravitated towards before, but it had seemed a little too squishy for my needs. He took one out of the package for me, and let me handle it...yes, it was a little on the squishy side - fantastic for sexplay, not quite perfect for what I wanted. However, the bit of flexibility made for a good stinging feeling and a nice smacking noise, and I figured that I wasn't going to find anything better unless I went online. From there, we ran off to Home Depot and purchased a short length of chain, two eye-screws, a package of quick-links, and some epoxy glue. We were in gigglingly high spirits all the way through the checklanes, and we skittered giddily to the parking lot. As soon as we got into the car, I set to work. I screwed the eyelets into the ends of the wiggly rubber wangs, unscrewed them, and then replaced them once again after mixing some epoxy and coating the screw-threads with it. Unfortunately, the quick-link openings were a little too small, so I had to wait 'til we got home to finish the project. Upon arriving home, I went straight for the garage, while Master and Spanky headed inside. I grabbed a couple of pliers, pried the quick-links open just enough to get them onto the eyelets, and attatched the chain. Voila! Dil-chucks! I ran back inside, and the waiting began. Zombie was still asleep when we got home, despite the fact that it was already nearing 6 pm. Though the temptation to sneak in to his room and wake him up with a good dick-hit to the face was strong, we didn't want to be -total- assholes about it, so we waited...and waited....Finally, around nine o' clock, the MrKyttie finally arrived home from Texas, and the whole household arose from what they were doing to run down and greet him, Chris included. In all the commotion, Spanky was able to sneak off and snag our beautiful creation. She came up behind him..."Hey, Chris!" He turned, and encountered a flying hodaken, SLAP! Right in the chest. He screamed, high, shrill, and loud. The long, red, dick-shaped mark from the blow stood out in sharp relief against the pale and pasty, hairless expanse of his chest. As Spanky's arm arced forward for another blow, Zombie grabbed reflexively at the fleshtoned pole flying towards him....His eyes widened in recognition and horror as his fingers grasped around the veiny member, and he flung it across the room desperately, fear radiating out of every pore. That's when the real fun began. Ever since then, we've been taunting him...tormenting him, teasing him with the possibility that at any moment, this house could turn into The House Of Flying Jibblies again. The paranoia, it's building...last night, he slept clutching an empty katana sheath, in case of a cack attack. He's already been cocksmacked with it twice since then, with threats of more on the way...he just doesn't know when they'll happen, or even, who it'll come from. Yes, we all agree, it's one of my greatest creations, a glorious, crowning achievement. It's truly a triumph of form -and- function, sex-toy and weapon all in one. We're already planning on making more. From this, who knows? Maybe someday, I will find myself ruling a cadre, an army, of Super Dildo Nunchuk Ninjas. I could take over the world! This could indeed be heralding the dawn of a new era for all mankind! At the very least, the huge dickshaped red-marks and bruises on Zombie's body make for a few good laughs...that and his shrill, horrified screams. And oh, yes, pictures -will- be posted at some point soon. The dong-chuks are too damn fun to let them lay idle for long. 8 comments | post a comment
It's 2:03 in the morning, which usually wouldn't be considered late by my standards. However, I've been going to sleep by nine or ten at night for the past several weeks, and my body's adjusted to that schedule. I even enjoy it, too, though it makes me feel slightly old. Tonight's different, though, because the MrKyttie's on his way home from Texas. |
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complacent
tired
amused
melancholy
sleepy
indifferent
chipper
anxious